The Discipline of Celibacy: How to Train for Success in an Era of “Everybody’s Doing It”

Anything in life that is important enough to do takes discipline. Somehow, in our society, “discipline” has become a negative word. It should not be that way. Discipline simply involves training yourself with regularity and intentionality in order to get the results that you desire. Want to get in shape? Discipline yourself in the gym. Want to learn a new language? Discipline yourself and put in the time needed for a program or a class to teach you. Want to keep your house or apartment cleaner? Discipline yourself to do certain chores every day. Want to stay sexually pure until marriage? Discipline yourself for celibacy.

Discipline Comes With Regularity

Discipline requires training and working on a task regularly. Obviously, you cannot take a break from sexual purity and remain sexually pure. So, the commitment to celibacy is not an on again off again experience by saying “no” to sex while you are single some of the time. It is not like your diet that starts and stops more times than a car stuck in Friday afternoon traffic.

The regularity of the conduct of celibacy means that you are thinking about it often, setting up your defenses, talking through it with the guys you start to date and asking a trusted friend to keep you accountable. Let the topic be on your mind and a part of your discussions on an ongoing basis. Have those tough conversations with yourself, with your friends, and with your boyfriend. Don’t skirt around the issue. You must attack your decision to be celibate openly and often.

Discipline Comes With Intentionality

You will not accidentally practice celibacy. You will achieve the goal of celibacy if you are intentional in setting up safeguards, growing in self-control, and feeding the positives of your romantic relationships while starving those things that get you started down the wrong path of sexual intimacy. You will not wake up on your wedding day sexually pure by accident. If you do nothing about abstinence, you will not remain abstinent. You must be overtly intentional in setting up a plan and living out that plan. Anything less than intentionally strengthening your will and your decision making will lead you to a place that is short of your goals.

Discipline is not easy, but it is worth it. When you start eating right, aren’t you pleased that you start to feel better, look better, and fit back into that dress that you love? When you pull out the workout close again. Don’t you appreciate the results that some sweat from a solid workout brings? So, it is with celibacy. It takes discipline. But the results are well worth it.

Answer this: What is holding you back from celibacy right now?


The Discipline of Celibacy: How to Train for Success in an Era of “Everybody’s Doing It”


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