So, you’re getting ready to roll out to dinner with your Bestie when she tells you she thinks your skirt is too short. In fact, the conversation goes a little something like this:
Her: “Girl, your skirt’s kinda short ain’t it?”
You: “You think so?” (Of course you’re feigning ignorance because you thought so before you left the room.)
Her: “Yeah. Any shorter and you might get pregnant just walking past a guy.”
At this point, you have two choices. You either ignore her or trust her judgment – and then her guidance. What’s it gonna be?
When confronted with the issue of modesty, most women think that modesty incorporates the outward appearance where you are not revealing too much. At the basic level of modesty, this is true.
But, modesty goes deeper than that. The Oxford Dictionary defines modesty in this way: Behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency (www.en.oxfordictionaries.com).
Is that your heart? Are you striving to “avoid impropriety and indecency?” In order to do so, it’s important to understand that while outward modesty comes in the form of a longer skirt, inward modesty begins in the mind and heart.
The issue of modesty starts in your mind and heart. Bottom line – modest thinking ladies dress modestly. When your heart desires to stay modest, it shows up in how you present yourself to others, especially to men. And while we tend to jump to the outward appearance when we discuss modesty, it actually begins inwardly.
A modest mind keeps the reins on where you allow your mind to go. Guys always get the most attention for having impure thoughts. And they deserve that. But, let’s be honest ladies; we can get our minds racing, too. And when our minds are focusing on impure thoughts, our outward appearance will follow suit. Let modesty rule in your mind.
A modest heart values the rightness of waiting until marriage for sex. Rather than constantly fighting the battle of abstinence in your relationship, settle the issue once and for all. Then, work at growing modesty in your heart so that you are longing to do what’s right. A modest heart overflows to what you present outwardly.
As you work on the inward modesty, the outward modesty must come as well. Outward modesty is concerned about how you dress, how you act, and how you present yourself.
- Are your clothes sending a message that you are not intending to send?
- When you go on a date, does your outfit say that you are expecting the night to get physical?
- Are you leading him on with the looks you give him and the way you tease him?
Any of these can be ways that you forfeit your outward modesty.
Though modesty starts inwardly, it must carry on to your outward appearance and actions. You cannot send mixed messages. If you are showing one thing but saying another, the man in your life will most likely hear just one message, and it probably won’t be the message to slow down.
Hopefully, you will be dating a godly man who has good character. Help him out by intentionally showing restraint in the way you dress. Grow modesty in your heart. Train your mind to practice modesty.
Then, let your outward message fall in line. Your intentions and your aspirations are for purity. Let modesty be what you experience both inwardly and outwardly.
Answer this: How well do your inward and outward modesty align?